How do we have a right?!?

Wow, its been a crazy week. I went to my 'ceminerion' to learn stuff for sherut next year- in two days more like....

We were there for 9 days and had a packed schedule. And even all that I still don't feel ready. How is it possible to be ready for it? Im going to be with kids who aren't living at home because of all different reasons, neglect, abuse- physical, sexual, 'milolit' (words).

So these kids come to live at this orphanage (not really an orphanage, more like a children home). However every other shabbos they go home. now they are taken out of there homes cuz they cant live there normally, so why do they go home? Because we want them to have a connection with there parents. Yah that a great connection- to go home to an abusive home or a home at which you know there will be NO food in the fridge.

besides those kids there are also some kids who don't go home those shabbosim cuz there parents will maybe kill them during the 30 hours they are there.

now you may ask, if they don't even go home every other week then why are they in a children's home and not put up for adoption? See they are taken out of their homes and put in this children home because we want to give them a 'normal' life. Now I live a normal life and I do not think that living in a children's home is a normal life.

ok so to the point why aren't they put up for adoption? Because there are many complications to put a kid up for adoption. One law is that the father has to give permission for the kid to be put up. Now think about this. The kid is being put up for adoption because the everyother week that the other kids go home, they cant because their father isn't home, where is he? he is in jail. How come? Because he killed his wife/ their mother in front of the kids.
NOW, that you understand the story, who in there right mind would ask the father permission? Why does he have a right to have a say in his kids life?

another question, Sunday morning comes and your 'chanich' - lets call him david, comes back from a shapes at home, one of your other chanichim- shmuel, gets david annoyed. So david reacts and starts cursing shumel. So what is your reaction? "david, stop, that is not the proper way to talk".
now lets analyze this picture.
david has just come back from a shabbos at home at which when he annoyed his little sister, his father started cursing him. Cursing him with words that we have never even heard.
now, how do we have a right to tell him to stop cursing if no one is telling his father not to?

How do we have a right?!?

Should I really be continuing on with my life?

wow, what a day. I woke early to go to yerushalayim. i got my skirt which was stolen by the seamstress, long story dont ask. got whole wheat pita from the shuk. wow I'm going to miss that. Starting 2 weeks I'm probably not going to be there for a while.
wtvr boring day, cleaned the kitchen, packed my bag for a weeks worth of stuff.

well, Im not sure but while Im being bored out of my mind, Moshe is getting married. when is it again? yesturday? today? tomorrow? wtvr, its crazy that he's getting married. Well I hope he likes my present... the 108 pack of twizzlers. For Etana I got the ketchup, I thought that was apropriate for him. Gosh this is the first of 3 weddings I am missing cuz they are not taking place in the Holy Land. I can believe it.

So there is supposed to be a ceasefire, I hope. I love this contry and I love the Jewsih nation, but isnt there a better way to get back 2 kidnapped soldiers that kill over 150 other ppl. I know this probably would have happened anyway but still....

Sammy call already,... I want to go swimming.
(is it just me or its sick that I'm going swimming now and ppl are just returning to there ruined houses after not being there for over a month cuz of Hizballah- yimach shimam)

What an excuse...

that was weird... a safe trip. i guess that is a good excuse to call but still. gosh, i want to cry and laugh and smile and frown. i just wish life would start already. its like now i have nothing and tons to do. I'm bored but can occupy my self with many things. I want to start real life so i dont have time to think about things. the more time i have, the more i think, the more i regret things or do things I'll regret. I wish life was simple. no complications.
my head is hot and spinning. I need answers! I need an explanation! I hate guys!

Sammy, i just realized that im not just going to write about my boring life, ill write about other things too, so here is my second post for today, for this hour.
Have you ever had a friend that you were really close to, like really really, like spend almost every waking hour with, and then some how you drift away. like you have nothing to do with each other anymore. but you know that if you wanted if either of you made the effort, you can go back to being as good friends. but you just have no patience to...

"avodah zara" of today?

So I've been thinking, what is the purpose of goyim's lives? I mean they have no real goals in life. like why were they created? everyone says to serve us right? but thats only in the time of mashiach. now, its probably the 'avodah zara' of these days. like they get us to do somethings that really if you stop and think about it could be considered avodah zara. like for example, t.v.! no not indian hair sheitel. Its weird, ppl flip out over the indian business, but what about tv. its a thing that tons of ppl sont even think about as a problem. No so maybe it is not direct, like ppl dont burn themself for it or castrate themselves because of it. but ppl do devote there lives to it. ppl do waste tons and tons of money on it. and these are ppl who learn tons of torah. dont get me wrong, I love to watch movies, its really great not thinking of anything, getting fully entertained by some fast action film, or being freaked out by some scary movie that you so scared you cant move. or to cry over something bugging you while watching a mushy romantic movie.
I just dont get it.